Jake’s Movie Review: Ted 2

Mark Wahlberg Ted 2 poster

Mark Wahlberg and Seth MacFarlane united for a sophomore offering of the walking, talking and swearing teddy bear. (Poster property of Media Rights Capital,
Fuzzy Door Productions,
Bluegrass Films,
Smart Entertainment & Universal Pictures)

By: Jacob Elyachar, jakes-take.com

What is the major difference between Winnie the Pooh and Ted?

Winnie the Pooh is a kind, loving and honey-obsessed resident of Hundred Acre Wood (and multiple Disney parks worldwide). Ted, on the other hand, swears like a sailor, is obsessed with pop culture and craves marijuana.

The last time we saw the walking-and-talking teddy bear, he fell in love with a woman named Tami-Lynn (Jessica Barth) and just like the rest of us, he faced a challenge that a lot of people deal with: the collapse of a marriage. In order to save his marriage, Ted and Tami-Lynn wanted to adopt a baby. However, there is one tiny problem-the United States Government declared him—intellectual property and not a human.

Outraged at the proclamation, Ted teams up with longtime friend (and thunder buddy) John Bennett (Mark Wahlberg) and freshman lawyer Samantha Leslie Jackson (Amanda Seyfried) to challenge the government on their proclamation and reclaim Ted’s human rights.

Ted 2’s screenwriters Seth MacFarlane, Alec Sulkin and Wellesley Wild continued to blend juvenile humor with foul language, porn obsession and weed jokes that will make audiences laugh in their seats. Another element that the trio used to their advantage was the celebrity cameos. From Jay Leno and Tom Brady to Sam J. Jones and Liam Neeson, each celebrity perfectly delivered their punch lines and served their purpose to advance the film’s plot.

There were several standouts in the cast that included Seyfried, who brilliantly portrayed the ditzy new lawyer and showcased her musical talent by picking up the guitar and serenaded Ted and John halfway through the film. Giovanni Ribisi returned as Ted’s deranged stalker, Donny, who still has the hots to owning the talking teddy bear. Ribisi’s borderline creepy acting made fans want to punch him in the face whenever he appeared on-screen. Finally, Morgan Freeman brought some sanity to this dysfunctional bunch as a pervasive lawyer that the trio hunts down to tackle Ted’s case.

As much as I loved the homage to the New York Comic Con, I thought it was unnecessary to bring the omnipotent pop culture convention into the mix, because it distracted fans from the main story. However, I was relieved that the Ted 2 screenwriters did not flood the screen with Family Guy-like runaway gags.

Final thoughts & grade: Ted 2 exponentially exceeded my expectations greatly. I strongly believe that audiences would be happy to see the next chapter in the blasphemous teddy bear’s life and leave their theater in hiccups. B

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Copyright 2020 Jacob Elyachar